Roommates with Rings: And We Love It.
☕ Tuesdays Are for Tea
Dear Auntie Abla,
My husband and I have been living like roommates for the past eight years. And although it bothered me at first, now I don’t see anything wrong with it.
I get to keep a tidy bedroom, the bed all to myself, and the climate temperature just the way I like it. But recently, his sister came to visit and disrupted the whole flow—urging that sleeping separately isn’t normal for a married couple.
What do you think?
From, Roommates with Rings
My Dear, Roomate with a Ring,
Let me sip this Sobolo tea before I answer properly.
First of all, let’s be clear: what’s “normal” in marriage is what keeps the peace in your home, not what keeps outsiders comfortable in your guest room.
If you and your husband have found a rhythm that works for both of you, where no one is fighting over covers or clashing over the remote, then who is this sister-in-law to call a board meeting?
Yes, sharing a bed is beautiful. But so is sleeping diagonally in peace without being woken by a snore that sounds like a generator on low fuel.
Marriages evolve. What matters is not where you sleep, but whether you’re still showing up for each other emotionally, financially, and spiritually.
Now, if you're hiding in separate rooms because of unresolved tension, that’s one big pot of slippery okra soup. But if it’s just a modern solution to snoring, sleep schedules, or self-care—please. Let her mind the marriage she’s in, not the one she’s visiting.
If your peace lives in separate rooms and your love still lives in the house, then the house is still a home.
Signing off before my tea gets cold,
Auntie Abla