Tuesdays are for Tea
Hey AI, Should I dump my boyfriend
Dear Auntie Abla,
I love reading your column, your advice always feels like it’s coming from a wise, no-nonsense auntie who actually gets it.
Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of people turn to AI for help with their problems, especially relationship advice. It’s fast, free, and doesn’t come with judgment or bias.
What’s your take on this? Is it okay to get relationship advice from AI tools?
—Curious and Cautious AI Advice Seeker
Dear Curious and Cautious AI Advice Seeker,
What a time to be alive! We’ve got self-driving cars, fridges that talk back, men embracing mani and pedi spa days and now, robots giving relationship advice! I swear, if Alexa starts coaching people through breakups, I might pack my bags and sell coconuts on Labadi Beach.
Now don’t get me wrong. Technology is a beautiful thing. And yes, AI relationship tools can be helpful, especially when it’s 3AM, you’re deep in your feelings, trying to decipher his strange text message and you don’t want to bother your best friend again because she gave you some advice but it still didn’t satisfy your soul.
So here’s the ginger mint tea: when it comes to real-life relationships, emotional nuance matters. A lot.
Let’s take our imaginary friend Ama. She’s fed up and ready to leave her boyfriend, Kwame, because he “doesn’t make time for her.” So, with the energy of a woman on a mission and the typing speed of a courtroom stenographer, she pours her heart into an AI prompt, complaints, frustrations, and all and waits, hands folded, for digital deliverance.
But here’s the kicker: AI only knows what you tell it. And Ama, in all her emotional frenzy, forgot to include a few key details like the fact that Kwame’s juggling two jobs, caring for his sick mother, or perhaps paying his student loan and perhaps unbeknownst to Ama, Kwame is quietly saving up for the ring he plans to put on her finger.
So when AI tells Ama, “You deserve someone who makes time for you,” it’s not wrong but it’s not exactly right either. Because context is everything. Love isn’t always black and white… well no, sometimes it is but I digress.
What I mean is: love is complicated. It can be tired, evolving, stubborn, messy, beautiful and most of all, it requires patience. Not just the “waiting around” kind, but the quiet, steady kind. The kind that’s dependable, understanding, and communicative.
But and this is a very big but did Ama mention that she has communicated her needs to Kwame or how about did she mention that Kwame is working two jobs, caring for an ailing parent, or perhaps unbeknownst to Ama, Kwame is grinding every day to save for a ring to propose to the very woman who’s now ready to walk away?
Well now, here’s some valuable information that needs to be shared—so lean in.
How clearly did you communicate your needs to your boyfriend?
Did he ignore you?
Or were you too frustrated to ask the question with empathy in your voice?
And while we’re at it, how much of that story did you really share in your AI prompt?
You see, relationship problems aren’t math equations. They’re layered, emotional, and full of quiet sacrifices, missed signals, and unspoken expectations. And no AI, no matter how clever or kind its code, can give solid relationship advice if it’s only working with half the facts.
So before you ask ChatGPT (yes, I saw the social media post) whether you should text your ex or break up with the man who’s working 18 hours a day just to stay afloat—here’s my two cedis advice:
Be honest with yourself first. Talk to your partner. If you want another perspective, like AI, share the whole story but also keep these pros and cons in mind.
Pros of Using AI for Relationship Advice:
Unbiased Opinions: No judgment, no emotional baggage, just straightforward relationship help.
Available Anytime: Got questions at 3AM? AI is ready, unlike your cousin who’s tired of your situationship drama.
Budget-Friendly: Most AI tools are free or low-cost. No copay, no therapist waitlist.
Cons of Relying on AI Alone for Love Advice:
Missing Context: AI only knows what you tell it. And let’s be honest, some of y’all leave out very important details.
No Emotional Warmth: Sometimes you need more than logic, you need a hug, a laugh, or a “Girl, don’t text him.”
Too Agreeable: AI won’t tell you when you’re the red flag. But your real friends will (and so will I).
So, my dear, here’s my final thought: Use the tools, but don’t let them use you. AI can be helpful, but it’s not a substitute for a real talk with someone who’s walked a few miles in your Steve Madden shoes.
And let’s be honest, sometimes, we’re not really looking for answers, we’re just looking for validation dressed up as advice.
Take the AI advice if it will help you see another perspective but take it with a pinch of pepper, a sprinkle of grace, and a big spoonful of real life wisdom.
Wishing you this best prompted advice with a mixture of emotional alongside artificial intelligence,
Auntie Abla